Farewell to Frank and Latham

We gather today to say goodbye to our dear friends, Frank and Latham.  It is with much sorrow that you will be leaving us tomorrow.

First, our sweet Frank.  I will miss having to scrape formula, blood, and dried skin off of you.  I will miss seeing how the placement of the bottle would push you from side-to-side.  I will miss wondering if I could accidentally break you off and always having to keep you moisturized.  I will miss you constantly being in the way and how much the baby would scream when he smashed you into my shoulder.  But mostly, I will miss the character you gave our baby’s face.

And Latham.  Oh, Latham.  I will miss the countless hours of cleaning you out.  I will miss turning the screw and then finding out we turned it too far.  I will miss the fact that you take up ¾ of the real estate in Gabriel’s mouth and the sores you have created all over our love’s tongue.  I will miss taking you up to Michigan once or twice a week to have you cleaned and adjusted.  I will miss how huge you make the baby’s clefts look because you are so large and the stink you create from formula getting stuck in places a Q-Tip can’t reach.  And also, I will miss how painful you made our life when trying to feed our son.

You have served us well, Frank and Latham.  Tomorrow Frank will be placed exactly where he belongs within Gabriel’s gumline, and Latham will be exactly where he belongs – in a box in my closet.  Thanks for the memories!! 

On a more serious note, tomorrow is the big surgery day.  We have to leave for the hospital at 4:30 am for a 5:00 am arrival.  It is most unfortunate this surgery is happening the week of daylight savings because I am sure 3:30 am will feel like 2:30 am to my body.  Doesn’t really matter anyhow – it’s not like I’ll be sleeping tonight. 

Truth is I am far more scared this time than I was before the last surgery.  I think it’s because this one is twice as long as the last.  Don’t get me wrong.  There is a huge part of us that is incredibly excited to both see our son’s new face (though I will miss those wide smiles) and to finally be rid of the Latham Device.  While the device did work wonders, it was oftentimes a giant pain.

The other thing making me terrified is that I went to the surgeon’s office yesterday to pick up some consent forms.  These forms provided all the risks that occur with cleft surgeries.  These risks include:

·         Bleeding – this is actually the number one reason I am thankful they have decided to have him stay overnight in the hospital tomorrow night.  I can handle pain management, but if he bleeds (and if past history with the device is any kind of indicator), I can’t stop that.

·         Infection – they say this is rare, but still a possibility.

·         Scarring – well, I am just not sure how there wouldn’t be scarring. 

·         Damage to Deeper Structures – this includes nerves, mucous membrane, bones, and blood vessels.  They also made sure to point out that this damage could be temporary or permanent.  Not sure I like those odds.

·         Delayed Healing – I am hoping Gabriel is not like me.  Seems to take forever for my wounds to heal.

·         Allergic Reactions – probably my least concern since neither Chad nor I have any allergies and this is not Gabriel’s first surgery.

·         Surgical Anesthesia – YIKES!!!!!!!  I hate thinking about this – especially since this is the only risk that could result in the D-word…

·         Unsatisfactory Results – thank goodness he isn’t going in for a boob job!!

·         Health Insurance – not an issue – I have already grilled them.

·         Additional Surgery Necessary – really hoping this doesn’t happen.  Sometimes additional surgery is necessary if there is abnormal scarring, the surgical sites don’t heal or open back up, or if the desired results were not met.

·         Financial Responsibilities – just thought it was funny this was listed as a risk!!!!  All I can say is THANK GOD FOR INSURANCE!!!!  We have actually already met our deductible for Gabriel (happened with the first surgery) so the next two surgeries should cost us nothing.

So, that’s where we are.  I once again ask all of you to include our sweet Gabriel in your prayers.  I will post an update after surgery with pictures to let you all know how things are going!!!