Chad and I will be celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary at the end of April. There have been times I didn’t think we’d get this far, and times, like now, where my love for him is so great that forever just doesn’t seem long enough. All this love has had me thinking lately about what the future holds for my boys. So, in honor of our love and our anniversary, I dedicate this post to the other two great loves of my life, my sons.
I have learned many things in my life so far and would like to share some of those things with you.
Kiss a lot of girls. Don’t let scars, courage, or fear get in your way. Don’t think that because the first several kisses aren’t great that you aren’t good at it. No one is. If anyone tells you they were an amazing kisser the first time out – they are lying. There are major teeth bumping and saliva issues. This does get better and practice does make perfect!
Fall in love at least twice. This way when you find ‘the one’ you know it and will fight with everything you have to protect it and keep it safe.
Be the dumpee and not always the dumper. Getting your heart broken makes you stronger and helps you know what you will and will not settle for in your life.
When you do find ‘the one’, love them with your whole self. Give everything you have to make them happy, but remember that your happiness is equally important.
Fighting and bickering with the one you love is ok. Everyone does it. Inevitably you will have friends that swear they never fight with their spouse – either these people are lying to you or they are lying to themselves. No two people, who were raised by completely different people under completely different rules, will agree all the time if they are being true to themselves.
When you do fight, listen. Don’t sit there thinking about your comeback – if you are thinking about what you are going to say next, you are not listening.
It’s ok to go to bed angry. If it means neither of you will wind up wounded or in jail – go to sleep! Things always look different in the morning.
Pick the hill you’re willing to die on. My sister gave me this advice before my wedding and I carry it with me every day. If the things you disagree about are not life-altering or things that morally offend you – then they aren’t worth fighting over. If you do come across something that you would be willing to die for, it’s ok to walk away. Your father and I will never be disappointed in you if you make choices to protect yourself.
Don’t let anyone tell you how you feel, what to say, how to act, what to wear (unless you ask), or how to live. While you are in this thing together, you are still you. If they truly love you, they love all of you – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I will probably receive frowns for writing this, but in my opinion only, it’s ok to live with your spouse before you are married (if marriage is a choice you make). If I hadn’t lived with your father before we were married, I might have left him when I found out after our honeymoon that he leaves wet towels on the bathroom floor and his socks end up everywhere!
Make sure the person you love makes you laugh. There is no greater moment than when you are cracking up or you hear that special laugh come out of your spouse that always makes you smile.
Don’t convince yourself that your love will change. Again, if you love them and they love you, it’s all of you. There are times when you will grow and learn from each other, but if you go into a relationship thinking you can ‘fix’ the other person, you are doomed to fail.
You don’t have to spend every second of every day with each other. Have your own friends that you can spend time with. You can’t possibly complain about your significant other to your significant other – that’s what your friends are for!
Along with having your own friends, have your own hobby (at least one). Try not to make it an all-consuming computer game!!!!
Lastly, teach your children to love.
My boys - I wish you love. At least equal to half the boundless love I have for you.
LOVE THIS POST!!! I can see why we are such great friends. :-) I tell my kids almost all of the same things, including that everyone argues. I don't want them to be so naive as to think that life is all rainbows, because it's not. I also am sure to share with them that a spouse who makes you laugh is so important and that you can't' ever "fix" someone else. Grow and mature with that person, but overall, they will stay who they are. Happy early anniversary to you guys!
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