Lost in a Nightmare

You know that moment when you are asleep and trapped in a nightmare, your subconscious screams for you to wake up, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get out?  That’s our life right now.

Gabriel had his surgery a week ago Tuesday.  We are eight days post-op and nothing seems to be getting any better.

Let’s start with the surgery.  For all intents and purposes, the surgery was successful.  The plastic surgeon was able to close the palate, repair the lips, and even close up the side of the gums left open from the last surgery.  All of this took a total of eight, very long, hours, when first estimated to only be four and a half.

Over 150 stitches later, Gabriel came out of surgery looking for his mom.  I sat with him in recovery for an hour and a half before being moved to his room for the night.

That proved to be the longest night of my life.

We thought things weren’t going to be so bad because Gabriel ate eight ounces of formula and two jars of baby food; all through a huge syringe with a long rubber tube on the end.  Then things went downhill.

He started to run a fever, stopped eating, and every time he cried, his stats would drop and the nurse would run in.  They never had to put oxygen on him, but with alarms going off constantly, all I did was hold him in a very uncomfortable rocking chair and cry the entire night.

Despite still running a fever on Wednesday, we got to bring him home.  He was very happy to be home and was actually starting to try to smile – through a very swollen face.  Unfortunately, he was still not trying to eat.

Thursday morning, the fever was over 101, so we called the plastic surgeon and he told us to bring him down.  The surgeon said everything looked good and it was too soon for an infection, but there is the risk of pneumonia since we was under anesthesia for so long.  He called us in an antibiotic, approved a higher dosage of pain medication, and sent us on our way.

Now nearly a week later, he still won’t eat.  Yesterday, I literally held him down and forced about eight ounces of formula into him over the course of the entire day.  Chad managed to get another four ounces in him, so in total, he drank twelve ounces – not very much.

We took him to his pediatrician yesterday to discuss the fevers and the fact that he keeps pulling on his ears.  She said that his lungs sound good and his ears are clear, but if the fevers continue to be over 101, we have to call tomorrow so she can order a chest x-ray to definitively rule out pneumonia.

The other potentially rotten news is that he had his follow-up with the plastic surgeon on Monday who said that while two parts of the palate are holding well, there is one part that wraps around the sides, that is not adhering itself like it’s supposed to.  He told us he is not ready to rush him back into surgery, as this part should attach itself on its own.  The problem is, whenever Gabriel cries, you can see the entire palate bounce up and down like it’s a big trampoline.   We asked what we can do to help or what we should watch for.   

He told us to keep his nose clean (which I caused him to bleed when cleaning it out) and to keep him from crying.  Yeah.  Keep a baby who is running high fevers, is in a tremendous amount of pain, is severely gassy and constipated, and is virtually starving, from crying.  So far, we have failed dramatically at this task.

I don’t know what to do anymore.  I keep asking God to help him heal, but I’m just not sure he’s listening.  So much for finally getting to know what ‘normal’ is like.

I realize this post is a very brief description of what is going on, but since Gabriel only sleeps for about two hours at a time, I know he’s going to wake soon and I wanted to get something out to all of you.

Your thoughts and prayers have been very much appreciated and I ask that you continue those until such a time when we know our Gabriel is going to be safe and sound.

 
Oh, and enjoy the pics below…

Hospital Arrival - Goodbye Wide Smiles

All Dressed Up and Ready To Go

Recovering on Daddy - PS Gave Me Whiskers

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Playing With Daddy's Phone

Finally Home - Trying to Smile

No More Whiskers

G Money Chillin' at Home