When Life Hands You Lemons

It’s funny to me that when things get stinky in life, people come at you from all angles with quick and quirky sayings that are supposed to make things better – like, ‘When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.’  Or, ‘God only gives you what you can handle.’  Or, my personal favorite, ‘God has a reason he chose you for these challenges.’

Well, that’s all good and well, but when do we, as human beings, get to say, ‘You know, I’ve had my fill of lemonade?’  Or, ‘Hey, God.  I’m so strong I could bench press three VW Buses right now.’  When do we get to say, ‘Enough is enough?’

Gabriel first –

I took Gabriel to his recurring appointment with his ENT for his usual hearing test.  He failed.  Not failed, actually – he bombed it.  Over the past four months, he has gone from the most amazing sleeper to sleeping like a newborn again.  He isn’t making much progress in speech therapy.  And, he’s been battling one ear infection after another.  The ENT said all of that was his fault, really.  The tubes he put in Gabriel’s ears were only meant to last for one year (Gabriel is nearly two).  With cleft babies, they typically put tubes in early (Gabriel got his at seven weeks) because nine times out of ten they will have major ear issues until their palates are closed.  But for that one time out of ten that might not have ear issues, the tubes shouldn’t last long as they might not really be needed. 

 

Gabriel’s are needed – badly.  In discussing this with the good doctor, we decided not to wait until his surgery on December 10^th to replace the tubes as we leave for Disney in four days.  We didn’t want to have to worry about ear infections while we are there and since there appears to be enough fluid behind Gabriel’s eardrums that they don’t move when tested, it is likely the pressure from the airplane would be excruciating.  So, on Monday morning, we are heading down to have tube replacement surgery just in time before we leave for Disney the next day.  I guess, technically, that makes surgery #5 on December 10^th become surgery #6.

I am sure everything on Monday will be fine and will have no negative impacts on our trip since he will be under anesthesia for all of fifteen minutes and has been under for much, much longer than that in previous surgeries.

Now Ethan – 

If you’ve been a follower of my blog since the beginning, you might remember an off-topic post about our Ethan and the struggles he has with fears and obsessions.  What you don’t know though is that for the past year and a half I have been fighting with six psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists/doctors/various others regarding his diagnosis of ADHD and not truly believing it.  Yes, he absolutely has ADHD.  I was not fighting it because I refused to accept it.  I was fighting it because I believed in my gut that it wasn’t all we were dealing with.

I was right.  After meeting with a pediatric neuro-psychologist, conducting four hours worth of testing, and filling out countless questionnaires, Ethan has been diagnosed with having (very high-functioning) Asperger Syndrome and fairly severe ADHD.

Despite having believed for a couple of years that Ethan was an Aspie (the autism world’s cute name for people with Asperger’s), having a concrete diagnosis has done nothing but put our lives into a complete tailspin.

I’m not going to spend much time talking about this because 1) I’m not sure I’m ready, and 2) this is Gabriel’s blog – however, I wanted to let you all know that life for us has no shortage of drama.  I’m pondering starting a blog for Ethan, but at this point, I’m so bad about updating Gabriel’s blog that I don’t know how I’d find time for another.

Let me break our time constraints down for you –

Gabriel has speech therapy once a week.  After the first of the year, his therapist wants to see him twice a week.  Ethan goes to occupational therapy once a week to work through his sensory issues and also find some focus skills in dealing with the ADHD.  He is also supposed to join a social group (also weekly) to learn how to have interactive conversations (something Aspies really struggle with).  We are all supposed to be going to see a behavioral therapist to learn how to live with each other, because honestly, life is a little bit of a nightmare right now.  Dealing with all the Asperger traits is nothing short of exhausting.  Throw on top of that a child who can’t focus because his hyperactivity levels are through the roof makes things take nightmare to an epic level.  In addition, we are supposed to be meeting with his school to start a plan for his education and determine his needs in the classroom.  Oh, and of course, Chad and I work full-time.

All of this while trying to take my kids on the trip of a lifetime (which presents its own issues), preparing for Gabriel’s upcoming surgery(ies), and trying to do my Christmas shopping has caused me to throw my hands in the air and say, ‘I have had my fill of lemonade.’  I’ll take a shot of whiskey, please.