Life Between the Clefts: First Surgery Has Been Set

First of all, let me just mention that blogging with an infant is extremely hard. Seems like every time I sit down to write, he’s hungry, tired, needs a diaper change, cranky, lonely, or all of the aforementioned infant complaints. So, in advance I apologize if the length of my posts is not to your liking or if the information contained in said posts does not leave you satisfied. I am sure things will improve with time.

Big news – Gabriel is already one month old!!! WOW! That went fast!!! In this month, we have had our first real smile and our first real tears. In fact, Gabriel smiles for his dad and big brother all the time. Not for mom though. E was the same. I guess they look at me as the feeder, changer, and rocker and not the super fun person that makes faces at them all the time. We’re working on that. He’s also working on finding his voice. My sister gave him a play mat for Christmas that has a little green planet that sways overhead with the music. He seems to have taken a liking to that planet because he works hard to swipe his hand at it and try to talk to it every now and then!!

Since the last update, we have met with the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. He was lovely. We worked through him to schedule Gabriel’s first surgery. Surgery will take place the morning of January 20^th at a hospital that is 45 minutes from our house. This surgery is when the Latham Device will be implanted and the ENT doc will put tubes in Gabriel’s ears. While his hearing is considered normal at this time, all cleft babies get tubes because of the amount of ear infections they are prone to having. The surgery will take approximately an hour and require at least one night’s stay in the hospital. Because Gabriel will be asleep for the surgery, he cannot have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before!!! We are preparing ourselves for the longest night ever and the longest drive anyone could possibly have when heading to the hospital.

In preparation for the surgery, Gabriel has to have impressions taken of the roof of his mouth so Dr. W can construct his custom fit Latham Device. Yes, these are the same impressions you might have had if you ever had braces. A gooey mold – that you try not to choke on – is pressed into the roof of the mouth to harden and capture all the grooves and open sections. Gabriel’s first set of impressions was done yesterday. Chad and I had to wait in the waiting room while they took him back. I sat and listened to my little man cry while trying to bury my emotions in a magazine. Chad went outside. They said Gabriel did really well – only cried when they were actually in his mouth – but it still sounded like baby torture to me. We have to go back on Friday for another set of impressions. I figure Gabriel will start crying at the mere sight of Dr. W in the near future!!

Other things going on – we had a great Christmas as parents of two boys!! Certainly we expect next year to be even greater as Gabriel might actually have a clue about what is going on around him! New Year’s Eve came and went. In fact, it wasn’t until the middle of the day when Chad and I actually remembered that it was New Year’s Eve. No one in our house was awake at midnight, and when you have an infant, that’s actually a good thing.

In other news, I have started to annoy myself lately. On two separate occasions, we have run into people in public who know us, but did not know Gabriel was going to be born with BLCLP. On both occasions when the person was looking at him, I made a point to tell them, ‘As you can see, he was born with bilateral cleft lip and palate.’ Why is this so annoying? Because they didn’t ask. They didn’t even act like there was anything different about him, but I felt like it needed to be said. Perhaps I did this because I didn’t want them wondering what was wrong with him. Maybe I didn’t want them telling their friends that something was wrong with him. Truth is - the only person there is something wrong with is me. Apparently in all my preparation, I didn’t bother to force myself to not care what people may or may not be thinking. I honestly thought I did, but when faced with the situation, I failed. I get anxious when we are sitting in doctor’s offices and people are staring at him – especially other children. I get anxious before we take him to the store because I don’t know who we might run into. I am not ashamed of my child. Let me make that clear – I am NOT ashamed of my child. I am just a mother who is fiercely protective of her children’s bodies and minds – so much so that I blurt out things about them that no one is asking. I guess I need to keep working on that.

Chad goes back to work this week. I will now officially be on my own. Truth be told, I kind of wish I was going back to work also. It would be nice to be back doing something I know I am actually good at. Parenting is hard. I just want all the stay-at-home parents out there to know that I appreciate and respect what you do and will be thinking about you in the near future when I head back to work full-time!

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment!! By the way, I am trying to get a picture of the roof of Gabriel’s mouth, but it seems the only time I can see it is when he is crying – and it just seems wrong to take a picture of him then!!

I love wide smiles!!!