Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

As Gabriel’s first surgery approaches, I have been thinking a lot lately about how things are going to really start changing.  This surgery is the first step in giving our baby a new look and that has me pondering the things I will miss, not miss, and look forward to after this year’s surgeries.  As a preface to what you are about to read, you should know that in the Hillegass house, we affectionately refer to Gabriel’s protruding premaxilla as ‘Frank.’  First of all, we found calling it Frank was easier than using technical terms, such as premaxilla or alveolar ridge.  Second of all, it seems that Frank often has a personality all his own, so he might as well have a name to go with it!

First things first – the things I will not miss once Gabriel has had his first year’s surgeries:

1.  The Worry – this is a no brainer.  I am tired of worrying about surgeries, pain, complications, and everything that goes with having a child with BLCLP.

2.  Feeding Drama – while we have come a long way with feeding Gabriel, there is rarely a time when we feed him without drama of some kind.  We have decided to change bottles recently – switching from Pigeon Feeders to Dr. Brown’s.  Pigeon Feeders have a nipple on them that is hard on one side and soft on the other.  You have to always make sure the hard side is pointing up towards the roof of the mouth so that it can take the place of the roof – giving the baby something to press their tongue against when suckling.  These bottles are made in Japan, they are expensive, they are hard to come by, and they are hard to use.  Dr. Brown’s, on the other hand, can be bought in any store.  The only stipulations to using Dr. Brown’s are that 1) we have to use the one-way valve that goes in the Pigeon nipples with them and 2) we have to use the Y-cut nipples only as they have a fast enough flow to assist with the feedings.  Because we have to have a faster flowing nipple, Gabriel chokes frequently – hence the drama.  He also has to be fed upright and burped often since he sucks in a lot of air because his lips can’t close around the nipple. 

3.  Frank Cleanings – in addition to feeding drama every three hours, we have to clean Frank after every feeding to remove excess formula and snot (sorry, it’s the truth – without anything between the nose and mouth, there is nowhere for snot to go).  Gabriel hates this and I tend to cause him to bleed nearly every time I try to clean him up.  Makes me feel just awful!!!

4.  Doctor’s Appointments – so tired of the only time we go on outings is to go visit another doctor.  Unfortunately, we will probably be going to doctor’s appointments on a regular basis until Gabriel is four or five years old.  But someday I will have the opportunity to miss them!!!

Secondly - the things I will miss when Gabriel’s surgeries this year are complete:

1.  His Face as It is Today – I have grown accustomed to his face – Frank and all!!

2.  Purring – at night when I am feeding Gabriel, he gets this collection of formula stuck up in the palate clefts that makes a sort of purring sound when he sleeps.  It’s like having a cat – I think perhaps he’s really happy because he’s purring!!!!  Plus, I have the added bonus of not having to hover over him to make sure he’s still breathing – I could hear him from a mile away!

3.  Wide Smiles – you’ve seen the pictures – those super wide smiles are impossible to resist!!!!

4.  The Funny Faces – Gabriel makes such funny faces that I just know I am going to miss and hope to not forget.  For instance, sometimes he looks like he is trying to do an Elvis lip curl, but without a top lip, only this tiny portion of what lip is there rises up!!  Then there’s the lower lip quiver – it is so pronounced because it is the only lip he really has – I know he’s sad when he does it, but I can’t help but chuckle when I see it!!!  Lastly is the tongue sticking out – he tends to sleep with his tongue poking through the clefts in his lips – I will surely miss that!!!

And lastly, the things I look forward to the most:

1.  Two Lip Kisses – I can’t wait to see him pucker up!!!

2.  Mama – Chad and I were talking the other day and he said he was certain Gabriel’s first word would be Dada.  I said it would be Mama.  Then it dawned on me, saying Mama requires two lips.  Go ahead – try and say it without use of your lips – you can’t.  Made me sad…

3.  Raspberries – blowing raspberries is one of the first things babies do – ours won’t without lips.

4.  A New Smile – while I will miss the old face, I am positive I will love the new face as much and can’t wait to see his new smile!     

So there you have it – some things I will miss and some things – not so much.  What I do know, is that it is time to get ready for some serious cha-cha-cha-changes!!!!