There's a light at the end of the tunnel

Can you hear me singing?!?!

After eight horrible days of force feeding and non-stop crying, Sunday we finally turned a corner!!  But let’s start with Friday night.

Friday night, Gabriel had his third appointment with Dr. W to have the Latham Device cleaned and possibly adjusted – it wasn’t, however, adjusted this time because Dr. W felt the tension on the chains was still good and not loosening up yet.  Good news - Dr. W is amazed by how quickly the device is working!!  At our first appointment post-surgery, Dr. W indicated that he thought the device would be in for six weeks.  Not bad considering the last baby our cleft team worked on had his device in for four months!  Dr. W showed us the impressions he took of Gabriel’s mouth so we could see that the left side of his gums have moved completely into place and the right side has moved to 50% of where it needs to be.  In fact, prior to having the device, I used to be able to put the head of a Q-Tip between Gabriel’s gums on the left side and Frank without touching either the gums or Frank; now I can’t get anything between them!!  Frank has not really moved yet as the device is currently working to fix the gum line, the palate, and straighten out the septum prior to moving Frank to where he belongs (all things that can’t be easily seen).  So, needless to say, I am not including any profile pictures just yet, as there is nothing really to see.

While we were also at the appointment with Dr. W, we were inquiring as to who could help us with our feeding issues.  Dr. W took one of our bottles and fed Gabriel two and a half ounces without a single bit of drama!!  Sure made us look like we were making a big deal out of nothing!!  Either way, when we got home, our feeding issues had not gone away.  That is…until Sunday.

On Sunday, Chad and I figured out exactly where Gabriel likes the nipple of the bottle, how deep, and at just what angle.  It was like a totally different experience!!  Don’t get me wrong – there is still drama.  He will typically fight, cry, and scream for 5-10 minutes before he settles down to eat, but at least I am not having to squirt formula in his mouth anymore!  Additionally, at his first feeding today, he took five ounces and six at the second feeding!!!  Almost back to normal!  It’s kind of too bad he will be having another surgery soon where we will have to spend at least another week re-teaching him how to eat again.

Now that the madness is behind us (knock on wood), we can all get back to enjoying our new baby and each other.  Chad is feeling good.  I am feeling good.  Gabriel has a full belly and Ethan gets to hear less crying!  Last week is already starting to fade into a memory that feels much like a dream.

With that, I just want to take a moment to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers.  I was overwhelmed by the support and concern expressed by many.  I was also overwhelmed by those of you who bravely told me your stories.  I can say honestly that you are all pillars of strength and that your pillars helped to hold my pillars up.  Your courage and experience has made me stronger and I do not take that for granted.  While I received many, many messages of hope and prayer, I would like to share with you something that one of our very good friends sent me.  It was so beautiful and came at a time when I desperately needed it. 

Also, I have included a picture of the Latham Device below.  Please excuse the white – formula gets stuck in the device (hence the cleanings).  And one more thing – for those of you wondering how Gabriel deals with the turning of the screw – he really doesn’t mind it at all!!  The only thing that bothers him is that I have to hold his head still so I don’t slip.  You will see in the picture, the screw is set back really far and I have long screwdriver I have to stick into his mouth to reach the screw. 

Wish us luck on continued success!!  I am off to take a nap!

A message from our friend:

“A few words that have rattled around my head lately that I hope will be a strength for you right now:
There is something in a name. Parents are often led to name a child in a way that speaks to the future personality, life, and role of the child. Ethan, for example, means "strong and impetuous." Never has a child been given a more fitting name. Chad is Welsh for "Protector, defender" with roots that imply "warring or battling." Again, dead ringer. Jessica is a derivation of Ischa, itself either a derivation of the male Hebrew name Isaac, or "Laughing One," or a diminutive of Israel, meaning "God Contended," a name given to Jacob after he wrestled with an angel of the Lord, and to whom all blessings were poured out upon him and his line.

Gabriel, with its roots in Gavriel, means, depending on context, either "The Might of God," "God is my Might," or "The Mighty One of God." Names don't always speak to who we are, but who we will be. I have faith in The Mighty One of God, even if right now he is a tiny thing struggling against a host of things. I also have faith in the Warring Protector, and that sometimes blessings don't always come until we have wrestled all night with the things God has sent to contend with us, when we can resume our smiling and laughing.” 

The Latham Device

My Boys (Pretty sure Ethan was enjoying this moment more than Gabriel!!)